I feel like a downer again. Yesterday I was told my uncle was found dead. He was my mom's only sibling. Ray was an alcoholic, drug addict for years. I think he started at the age of 12, with binge drinking. He could stay sober for long periods of time, and then he would snap. He could be drunk/high for months. When I was young I was very close to him. I was an only child on that side of the family, and Ray didn't have any kids. As I got older, it became harder to talk to him. He was always slurring and claiming to be sober. I got to the point that most of the time I did believe him, I think there was so much brain damage. My grandma died in October 2000, and I hadn't seen Ray in person since. I actually hadn't talked to him on the phone in 2 years. Ray called my dad about a month ago. My dad tried to witness to him. Ray wanted me to call him.......I never did. The guilt sets in. What more could I have done? Why didn't I call him back? It was so hard to talk to him. He wouldn't make sense most of the time. My dad just keeps telling me to pray that Satan stay away. He's the one making me feel so guilty. My mom doesn't handle things well. I have to stay strong for her. My mom isn't a christian and that does make it harder. Please pray for all of us. My kids are fine. Half of them didn't know him, and the other half barely remember him.
Our pre-teen mission trip is next week. I'm in charge of the schedule for the whole trip. While it's exciting, and I'm looking forward to it, this has put a bit of a damper on it. I'm very concerned that things will need to be done, regarding my uncle, while I'm away. I want to be able to see the body before I leave. At this moment, I'm not able to, they haven't preformed the autopsy yet. I forgot to mention, he was only 50.
Thanks for listening!
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4 comments:
Hugs and prayers. Prayers for...strength, grace, love, peace and anything else you need at this time. Words are inadequate, I know.
Sorry to read this! What a shock!
I'll be praying for you!
You have handle this with grace and love. Sometimes we have to do the hard thing and provide tough love. I am sorry that you didn't have a chance to talk to him. But God works in mysterious ways as you know. Maybe by not talking to him, you brought him closer to God. You can only do so much. And you did find out that was not drinking at the time. That is a good thing and what you need to remember. Big hugs from us!!!!
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